Stand Up To Yourself
If you wouldn’t say it to someone else, don’t say it to yourself.
Self-bullying is still bullying.
Negative self-talk is linked to suicidal thoughts, contributing to the #2 cause of death among young people.
74% of adults agree they are their own worst critic, with the majority admitting negative thoughts get in the way of succeeding in life
Survey*
Nearly 80% of young
people are mean
to themselves about
the way they look.
Watch the film
Tools to help silence your inner bully
1. Awareness
When you notice negative thoughts about yourself like, “You’re so dumb” or, “You’re a loser because…” try using a technique called “thought stopping.” Interrupt the thought by picturing a stop sign or another visual that resonates with you.
2. Label how you’re feeling.
Acknowledge and label your pain or discomfort without judging it. Thoughts can be labeled as false, unfair, unproductive, or just mean. It may feel weird but once you identify the feeling, you help take away its power.
3. Practice soothing self-talk.
Think about what you would say to a friend. What do you need to hear to show yourself love and kindness? Try saying things like, “You are doing the best you can with the tools you have available to you right now.”
4. Reframe emotion with logic
Think about the facts. Did you do your best? If you think you didn’t do well, do you believe that it’s okay because everyone fails at some point? What are the things you have done well in your life? If you have a hard time being kind to yourself during this, get some feedback from a trusted friend or professional.
5. Practice gratitude
Acknowledging good things in life helps you stop thinking about the bad ones. Thinking of even small things you’re grateful for – nice weather, a good meal, a cozy blanket– can boost your mood and break you out of your brain’s negative self-talk cycle.
6. Be kind to yourself (and the younger version of yourself)
Imagine you’re saying these things to a younger you. You would never say those mean things to them. If you slip back into self-criticism, think about how a good friend or a nurturing parent would talk to that younger you.
7. Never hesitate to reach out for help
Talking to a trained professional is an awesome and invaluable tool for learning to silence your inner bully and be compassionate to yourself.
Dr. Tracy Hutchinson, PHD. Do You Have An Inner Bully? 5 Ways To Help Silence it.
Genomind. Conquer The Bully In Your Brain (Negative Self-Talk)
*This survey was fielded with a nationally representative sample of 1009 respondents, comprising 509 18-60YO adults as well as 500 parents of teens.
Get Immediate Help
If you or someone you know is in crisis, please reach out immediately. There are people ready to help. You are never alone.
United States
Crisis Text Line:
Text HOME to 741741
Lifeline:
Call or text 988
Shout Crisis Text Line:
Text SHOUT to 85258.
Childline:
For children and people under 19,
call 0800-1111
United Kingdom
Australia
Lifeline:
Call 13 11 14
or text 0477 13 11 14
IN SUPPORT OF
IN PARTNERSHIP WITH MONICA LEWINSKY
Monica Lewinsky is a social activist, global public speaker, and producer who has made it her mission to fight bullying — online and off — after becoming patient zero for online harassment.